How to conclude my sem 1, I really have no idea. It is not just one or two words can summarize...
It could be called a nightmare. The sem is abt 3-month long, I missed nearly 1/2 of it, and the remaining 1/2 of it, I was in pain, discomfort and also depression, disappointment. It is really difficult to carry on life with an abnormal status. A lot of times I want to give up, I am not strong enough to face the odd stares from the crowd, I dun like it when I have to sit alone in class and dun really have many friends in class, I dun like it when I am the last of class, I dun like it when my uni life is all abt mugging. I hate this kind of life, I hate this kind of feeling. If this was all of my life, I would quit school and lock myself in my room and rot...
However, I think God really loves me a lot, He sent this group of ppl to my life. Though I only know them in June, it really feels like family when I was with them. Because of them, I know why I must smile and be optimistic. There was this place I could go after my horrible lessons. There were ppl who border to talk to me, there were ppl willing to teach me all the lessons I missed and there were ppl help me pack my meals from canteen... Exam period was the happiest time for me in the whole sem, cos I got to study with this group of ppl everyday, I no need to go class or lecture to face tt kind of strange atmosphere that I dun like.
I had thousands of plans of wad I want to do after I recover, sad to say, now it is still not the right time to fulfill those plans. The pain reminds me tt I am not fully recovered, I cannot walk too much, I need to sit down and raise my leg above my heart level, I need to go for physio to relax my tightened ligament. I have plenty of time now, but there is nth much I can do. I become impatient for this thing, it takes too long of my time...
Was flipping through my diary when I was in hospital, I think hospital is really a good place for ppl to calm down their hearts. I was much more patient at tt time than now... The more I have, the more I expect...
Secret
18.12.105:01 pm go away pain!!!!
"就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉, 死不了就还好"
Secret
3.12.108:06 pm a little bit of digress~~~
Just had a very strong feeling of self unworthiness...
I noe I should not have this kind of feeling, but just let me emo for this moment. I am tired of being optimistic, tired of smiling...
I always think it is easier to be optimistic as u need not to explain y u r happy, on the other hand, u need to explain a lot y u r sad...
Actually I am not sad, just full of sorrowfulness of my life now...
There is this group of ppl who have being very supportive and touching, and I really enjoy my time with them. But seems like other than this, there is no excitement in life. I never feel so friendless and helpless...
Can't wait for this hell like semester to over!!!! Regarding the result, I shall say try my best can alr~~~
Okay enough digress, I shall be back to my dame a lot catch up works!!! Calm down and really concentrate! Continue be optimistic, faithful and smiley!
It shouldn't be called LIFE if it is too easy...
Secret
29.11.1010:12 am 2 years alr~~~
I will remember my promise and keep my promise to you!<3
But, still miss u a lot~~~
Secret
24.11.109:55 am A poem~~~
一棵开花的树
-------席慕容
如何让你遇见我
在我最美丽的时刻
为这——
我已在佛前 求了五百年
求它让我们结一段尘缘
佛于是把我化做一棵树
长在你必经的路旁
阳光下慎重地开满了花,
朵朵都是我前世的盼望
当你走近 请你细听
那颤抖的叶是我等待的热情
而当你终于无视地走过
在你身后落了一地的
朋友啊 那不是花瓣,
是我凋零的心
English Translation
A Blooming Tree
May Buddha let us meet
in my most beautiful hours,
I have prayed for it
for five hundred years.
Buddha made me a tree
by the path you may take,
In full blossoms I’m waiting in the sun
every flower carrying my previous hope.
As you are near, listen carefully
the quivering leaves are my waiting zeal,
As you pass by the tree
without noticing me,
My friend, upon the ground behind you
is not the fallen petals but my withered heart.
I am wearing the "如何让你遇见我, 在我最美丽的时刻" T-shirt today, have being wearing it for more than 2 yrs alr, but I only find out the full poem recently. It is rather beautiful!=))) Dun noe y the english version sounds weird to me, but I really love the chinese version a lot a lot!<3
Secret
5.11.103:59 pm
Secret
♥ Music.
♥ Disclaimer.
I am not responsible if xiaochun dies from hunger......