♥ So we're from two different worlds...
22.6.1111:07 pm
blank...


when too many things become out of control, there is a period of blank out...

Dun want to do anything, dun want to think through, just stone...

I dun believe it is the final statement. When the guessing becomes a fact, it really feels different...

It is still noisy after turning off all other programs that are running on my comp...

I need peace...

痛,说一次就复习一次

Secret


2.3.113:23 pm
处处无家处处家


最近又搬了一次家。搬家这种事对大部分人来说可以算是让人兴奋又值得期待的,但我似乎已经忘记了那种感觉。这五年来,新加坡的东南西北都住过了,对于搬家这个词早就已经麻木了。有趣的是一开始一个德士就能搬完的家,现在要用一个大货车才能搬完了,或许以后还会增加?

搬家当然离不开整理东西那一堆麻烦事,而每一次整理东西都伴随着一个漫长的心路历程。走进自己的过去,再看一次那个陌生又熟悉的自己,然后把这些好的,不好的回忆统统打包,放进一个个的整理箱里,等待着再一次打开这潘多拉的盒子。

书架上的东西似乎没有什么大的变动。相册仍旧是那几本,这个年代应该没有几个人还用相册这种老土的方式来保存照片。小说, 唱片还是那那么一点,除了学校强制买的和朋友送的,我几乎没有买过什么。

记得小时候特别喜欢收藏书,除了自己定期会去书店挑几本世界名著之外,还有同学之间传看的青春校园文学类的小说,不过这类书我都是跟朋友借来看过后,觉得不错才去书店买。现在回头看,觉得自己当时的想法的确有点可爱,明明都已经读完了的书,还是硬要去买一本新的回家收藏。当时的我好像觉得这一类的书比世界名著更有收藏价值,所以都以全新的书好好珍藏,而且还告诉自己,等到我老了,退休以后,闲在家里没有事情做的时候,可以重读这些青春文学,回味年少时的趣事。。。-__- 不过这些书现在在哪里我就不知道了,好像有一次搬家的时候被我全仍掉了,看到那些幼稚的封面图画,我大概觉得这辈子都不可能再碰那些书了吧,哈哈。

这次整理衣柜成了最心酸的事情。。。衣柜里的东西不少,过于幼稚的,不想再穿的通通丢掉,但有这么一包围数不小的东西我不知道该怎么处理。已经好几个月了,我就靠着长裤和黑色打底裤活了好几个月了。当然我过得不错,可以算是蛮开心的。虽然没有休闲的短裤,但这日子也还是悠闲自在的。我几乎忘记了我是一个爱穿短裤的人。。。黑色的,白色的,穿过很多次的,没穿几次的全都得包起来。为了让我的衣柜有地方放更多长裤,这些必须得清理掉。

与其说是为了遮丑,还不如说是为了遮住自己的眼睛,其实没有人会特别注意到某人脚踝上的伤疤,看得最多,最在意的还是某人自己。可以说我是在逃避这个问题,也可以说在这个问题上我已经看得很开了。还在轮椅上的时候曾今幻想我要复原到受伤以前的状况,包括脚上的伤疤我也要它消失的无影无踪,不过后来意识到,如果能正常的走路,可以偶尔跑步或是跳舞就已经是谢天谢地的事情了。所以,我放弃了,应该说是看开了,医生特地开的去疤的药也不再用了,没有用了,就这样了。我已经有了这辈子都靠长裤和黑色打底裤过的打算,不过没什么,就这样也可以活得很精彩。我是这么想的,那些叫做短裤,短裙还是高跟鞋的,就让它们待在柜子深处的黑角吧,或许,只是或许,会有那么一天我可以让它们重见天日。

我的新家不大,却有着温馨的色调,客厅是蓝色的,卧室是粉色的,有几盆盆栽,不过我想它们应该活不了多久了,因为我不是一个有闲情逸致养花的人。其实屋子在哪里,有多冠冕堂皇还是多破旧都不要紧,有亲人在就算是家了。=)




Secret


28.1.116:15 pm
This is the real starting~~~=)


Sem 2 starts in a much nicer way. It feels so good to be able to control where I am going! YAYYY~~~=)))

And, it is so nice to make new friends in class as well as in hall. I feel really happy that we can walk to the classrooms together!=)

And, finally I dun need to be the first to go tutorial classes, I can sit at anywhere I want in the LT! Claps!=D

It is really nice to see strangers become friends, friends become close friends and close friends become best friend!=)

This is going to be an exciting sem ahead!=DDD

因為失去過,所以比別人更懂得珍惜像這樣雙腳着地的日子。。。
現在,我想精彩的活着,加倍精彩的活着,把曾經屬於我的精彩通通活過來。

Secret


18.1.112:21 am


I am not depressed and not happy obviously, just 闷

闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷闷

Secret


22.12.1011:41 am
I need Patience...


Sem 1 is finally over...

How to conclude my sem 1, I really have no idea. It is not just one or two words can summarize...

It could be called a nightmare. The sem is abt 3-month long, I missed nearly 1/2 of it, and the remaining 1/2 of it, I was in pain, discomfort and also depression, disappointment. It is really difficult to carry on life with an abnormal status. A lot of times I want to give up, I am not strong enough to face the odd stares from the crowd, I dun like it when I have to sit alone in class and dun really have many friends in class, I dun like it when I am the last of class, I dun like it when my uni life is all abt mugging. I hate this kind of life, I hate this kind of feeling. If this was all of my life, I would quit school and lock myself in my room and rot...

However, I think God really loves me a lot, He sent this group of ppl to my life. Though I only know them in June, it really feels like family when I was with them. Because of them, I know why I must smile and be optimistic. There was this place I could go after my horrible lessons. There were ppl who border to talk to me, there were ppl willing to teach me all the lessons I missed and there were ppl help me pack my meals from canteen... Exam period was the happiest time for me in the whole sem, cos I got to study with this group of ppl everyday, I no need to go class or lecture to face tt kind of strange atmosphere that I dun like.

I had thousands of plans of wad I want to do after I recover, sad to say, now it is still not the right time to fulfill those plans. The pain reminds me tt I am not fully recovered, I cannot walk too much, I need to sit down and raise my leg above my heart level, I need to go for physio to relax my tightened ligament. I have plenty of time now, but there is nth much I can do. I become impatient for this thing, it takes too long of my time...

Was flipping through my diary when I was in hospital, I think hospital is really a good place for ppl to calm down their hearts. I was much more patient at tt time than now... The more I have, the more I expect...





Secret


18.12.105:01 pm
go away pain!!!!



"就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉, 死不了就还好"



Secret


3.12.108:06 pm
a little bit of digress~~~


Just had a very strong feeling of self unworthiness...

I noe I should not have this kind of feeling, but just let me emo for this moment. I am tired of being optimistic, tired of smiling...

I always think it is easier to be optimistic as u need not to explain y u r happy, on the other hand, u need to explain a lot y u r sad...

Actually I am not sad, just full of sorrowfulness of my life now...

There is this group of ppl who have being very supportive and touching, and I really enjoy my time with them. But seems like other than this, there is no excitement in life. I never feel so friendless and helpless...

Can't wait for this hell like semester to over!!!! Regarding the result, I shall say try my best can alr~~~

Okay enough digress, I shall be back to my dame a lot catch up works!!! Calm down and really concentrate! Continue be optimistic, faithful and smiley!

It shouldn't be called LIFE if it is too easy...



Secret


29.11.1010:12 am
2 years alr~~~





I will remember my promise and keep my promise to you!<3
But, still miss u a lot~~~

Secret


24.11.109:55 am
A poem~~~


一棵开花的树

-------席慕容

如何让你遇见我
  在我最美丽的时刻
  为这——
  我已在佛前 求了五百年
  求它让我们结一段尘缘
  佛于是把我化做一棵树
  长在你必经的路旁
  阳光下慎重地开满了花,
  朵朵都是我前世的盼望
  当你走近 请你细听
  那颤抖的叶是我等待的热情
  而当你终于无视地走过
  在你身后落了一地的
  朋友啊 那不是花瓣,

  是我凋零的心

English Translation

  A Blooming Tree
  May Buddha let us meet
  in my most beautiful hours,
  I have prayed for it
  for five hundred years.
  Buddha made me a tree
  by the path you may take,
  In full blossoms I’m waiting in the sun
  every flower carrying my previous hope.
  As you are near, listen carefully
  the quivering leaves are my waiting zeal,
  As you pass by the tree
  without noticing me,
  My friend, upon the ground behind you
  is not the fallen petals but my withered heart.

I am wearing the "如何让你遇见我, 在我最美丽的时刻" T-shirt today, have being wearing it for more than 2 yrs alr, but I only find out the full poem recently. It is rather beautiful!=))) Dun noe y the english version sounds weird to me, but I really love the chinese version a lot a lot!<3

Secret


5.11.103:59 pm



Secret


♥ Music.


♥ Disclaimer.

I am not responsible if xiaochun dies from hunger......

♥ Profile.

Fu Xiao Chun

20 years old

6th September 1990


♥ Love&Hate.

<3 my mummy
<3 my family
<3 my friends
<3 my life

currenly no hates! =D

♥ Chatters.



♥ Getaway.

where I belong

[x] `Ares

[x] `08S72

[x] `Gefang

[x] `HCI LEP

[x] `Taekwondo


I love myself

[x] `My space

[x] `My blog

[x] `My friendster

[x] `My facebook


concert family

[x] `Angeline

[x] `Brandon

[x] `Eve

[x] `Eric

[x] `Germaine

[x] `JiaJun

[x] `Meiting

[x] `Meiling

[x] `Qinny

[x] `Shiqi

[x] `Shaowei

[x] `Welson

[x] `Xingyi

[x] `Yang Lu

[x] `Zhiyang

[x] `Zhou Jing

[x] `Tian Shui

[x] `Sam

[x] `Mavis

[x] `yokie


memories @ HCI

[x] `Del

[x] `Shilbe

[x] `Elizabeth

[x] `Pei Hua

[x] `Hwei Ee

[x] `Valencia

[x] `Jin Dao

[x] `Qiu Han

[x] `Yan Jie

[x] `Ren Qi


memories @ Cedar

[x] `Zoe

[x] `Liu Xi

[x] `Li Xue

[x] `Iris

[x] `Yong Ning

[x] `Jia Yuan

[x] `Sze Min

[x] `Wan Ling

[x] `Sze Hong

[x] `Siti

[x] `Zaferin

[x] `Easter


my dears

[x] `Yu Ying

♥ Past&Present.


♥ Thankyou.