How to conclude my sem 1, I really have no idea. It is not just one or two words can summarize...
It could be called a nightmare. The sem is abt 3-month long, I missed nearly 1/2 of it, and the remaining 1/2 of it, I was in pain, discomfort and also depression, disappointment. It is really difficult to carry on life with an abnormal status. A lot of times I want to give up, I am not strong enough to face the odd stares from the crowd, I dun like it when I have to sit alone in class and dun really have many friends in class, I dun like it when I am the last of class, I dun like it when my uni life is all abt mugging. I hate this kind of life, I hate this kind of feeling. If this was all of my life, I would quit school and lock myself in my room and rot...
However, I think God really loves me a lot, He sent this group of ppl to my life. Though I only know them in June, it really feels like family when I was with them. Because of them, I know why I must smile and be optimistic. There was this place I could go after my horrible lessons. There were ppl who border to talk to me, there were ppl willing to teach me all the lessons I missed and there were ppl help me pack my meals from canteen... Exam period was the happiest time for me in the whole sem, cos I got to study with this group of ppl everyday, I no need to go class or lecture to face tt kind of strange atmosphere that I dun like.
I had thousands of plans of wad I want to do after I recover, sad to say, now it is still not the right time to fulfill those plans. The pain reminds me tt I am not fully recovered, I cannot walk too much, I need to sit down and raise my leg above my heart level, I need to go for physio to relax my tightened ligament. I have plenty of time now, but there is nth much I can do. I become impatient for this thing, it takes too long of my time...
Was flipping through my diary when I was in hospital, I think hospital is really a good place for ppl to calm down their hearts. I was much more patient at tt time than now... The more I have, the more I expect...
Secret
18.12.105:01 pm go away pain!!!!
"就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉, 死不了就还好"
Secret
3.12.108:06 pm a little bit of digress~~~
Just had a very strong feeling of self unworthiness...
I noe I should not have this kind of feeling, but just let me emo for this moment. I am tired of being optimistic, tired of smiling...
I always think it is easier to be optimistic as u need not to explain y u r happy, on the other hand, u need to explain a lot y u r sad...
Actually I am not sad, just full of sorrowfulness of my life now...
There is this group of ppl who have being very supportive and touching, and I really enjoy my time with them. But seems like other than this, there is no excitement in life. I never feel so friendless and helpless...
Can't wait for this hell like semester to over!!!! Regarding the result, I shall say try my best can alr~~~
Okay enough digress, I shall be back to my dame a lot catch up works!!! Calm down and really concentrate! Continue be optimistic, faithful and smiley!
It shouldn't be called LIFE if it is too easy...
Secret
♥ Music.
♥ Disclaimer.
I am not responsible if xiaochun dies from hunger......